When I Grow Up

I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WHEN I GROW UP!!!!! This is exciting. I’ve given it a great amount of consideration, weighed the pros and cons, and am one stop short of declaring myself employed. I want to be a travel writer. Feeling a little let down? Maybe you thought I was going to say something a little more practical or albeit in the realm of education, for which my degree has been issued? Unfortunately, no. Ever since I started this silly blog I have discovered how much I like writing. I have never taken a single creative writing class, dappled in poetry, or even kept up a steady journal. But, I have stumbled upon something that I believe I have a real passion for. Think about it, I know I have. I love to travel and I love to write. I cannot think of a better combination. I owe much of this idea to the fact that I am reading yet another Bill Bryson book. Jill loaned me her copy of The Lost Continent and I have been devouring it ever since. The book is about his journey through small towns in America and discovering little gems along highways, tucked back in the mountains, or perched on seaside cliffs. Jill and I happen to share a of love of Bryson and this book is no exception. It has me laughing out loud all over Zurich. I don’t think  I realize/care how embarrassing this might be, but I just can’t help myself. If I could, I would do a dramatic reading for you, but you will have to settle for just reading it yourself. This particular bit is about people who are fond for RVs:

  • “A whole industry… has grown up to supply this market. You can see these people at campgrounds all over the country, standing around their vehicles comparing gadgets–methane-powered ice-cube makers, portable tennis courts, anti-insect flame-throwers, inflatable lawns. They are strange and dangerous people and on no account should be approached.”

I feel like I could do this. I could discover foreign, or in Bryson’s case familiar, lands and then regale you all with my tales. It is a given that I would find myself in some noteworthy circumstances, therefore it would be an entertaining tale that I would tell. And to be honest, I haven’t committed myself to teaching quite yet. This would be a great distraction/job. I know it’s far-fetched, but it’s what I’ve come up with so far. I still have six months to decide, right?

I will leave you with another excerpt. This is what Bryson says about women in Iowa:

  • “Iowa women are almost always sensationally overweight– you see them at Merle Hay Mall in Des Moines on Saturdays, clammy and meaty in their shorts and halter tops, looking a little like elephants dressed in their children’s clothes, yelling at their kids, calling out names like Dwayne and Shauna.”

I know it’s a cheap laugh, but his writing his ridiculous and thankfully he doesn’t exclude himself in the slaughtering of American culture.

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One thought on “When I Grow Up

  1. I think you’ve found it. I know I personally can’t get enough of reading about your misadventures. Courtney and I have been saying for months you need to come back and write a column or write for a magazine, or become an editor or something along those lines. We both think you have a real talent for the written word and would be fabulous. You will of course be fabulous at anything you do, but why not have it be something you truly enjoy.

    We would of course miss you at all the BBQs and family events.

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