Back in the Saddle

Today was a sad day as I had to say goodbye to Mom. We journeyed to the airport this morning (with a considerably lighter bag, I might add) with countless other commuters on their way to work. Let me tell you, it’s fun to carry around an enormous suitcase while people push and jostle around you. I’m pretty sure I was everyone’s favorite passenger. Mom moved through the airport check-in easily and we shared a Starbucks breakfast. In order to ween her back into American culture, you see. Afterward, it was time for us to go our separate ways and this time it was me with the teary eyes. It was just hard to say goodbye a second time. When I left in January I knew I had this visit to look forward to, but now I have to wait another 4 months to see my parents (or anyone from home for that matter) again. Mind you, when my dad left in January one might have thought someone died with the production I was putting on. I honestly believe the Parents thought I was disturbed. I did much better this time. I’m terrible at goodbyes. I know this about myself.

On my train home I put on a good playlist and let only a few tears slip. I decided that, unlike when my dad left and I wanted him to put me in his suitcase, I am much more secure in my place here. The truth is, I’m not ready to come home. I briefly allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to be in Kansas City and it didn’t seem right. Don’t get me wrong, it would be great to see family and friends again, but I would rather you all come here. I like being abroad. I like being in another culture and experiencing things I only could if I was in another place. I feel there is already so much I have learned about others and definitely about myself, I am eager to see what else lies ahead. And, let’s get real, I’m not prepared to face the job market. Yikes.

Having said all that, upon returning home I found the Mom and kids taking off for the grocery store. I decided to take a nice long run and clear my mind. After showering and coming down for lunch I was greeted warmly with the Boy wagging his finger in my face, cocking his 4-year-old eyebrow, and scolding me for eating his favorite yogurt. The 6-year-old Girl reminded me that only Mommy can tell her what to do. Only the Baby seemed genuinely happy to see me. And, the Mom of course, as she is now out of town with the Dad for the weekend and I am home alone with the kiddos for the next 24 hours. Is it too late to run back to the airport?

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau


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